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  • Sarah Kingwell

Intentionality

“Our intention creates our reality” Wayne Dyer The definition of the word intention is ‘a thing intended; an aim or plan’, and the definition of intentionality is ‘the fact of being deliberate or purposive’. From the words of my therapist, “Our intentions are the results we get, not the goals we set”, and for a while now I have been writing weekly intentions alongside my goals, allowing me to take a deeper exploration around what is my intention around setting this goal. Usually this basis comes from an emotion based word for how I want to feel when I achieve a goal that I set out for the week. But how do we know what our inner intentions are, I personally find some weeks that I am unsure of my intention around a goal, therefore without awareness am I really setting goals with intentionality, with purpose, if I am not and my goals don't align with my intention then will I achieve the goals I set out, probably not. To truly understand our intentions we must first understand our unconscious desires, you know the ones we sometimes hide away in the deepest parts of ourselves. For myself when I accepted that I had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, I set a goal that after my 30th birthday I would quit drinking, so there is my goal- To quit drinking. With the many challenges along the way, I have always had a clear inner intention around this goal, and that intention has helped me remain sober. Before I quit, and I began to think about this goal, I was full of fear, and of course rational justification of why I could just cut back on my drinking, and I did not really know what my intention was around this goal to begin with. Before I set my intention around positive sobriety, I had a goal, and with that goal came a lot of fear, fear of failure, fear of missing out, fear of social events, fear of not being accepted, not fitting in, and ultimately with this fear I had a lot of self-doubt. As I mentioned previously in my blog around fear, fear has a positive intention, without fear we wouldn't survive. In the book I'm currently reading ‘This naked Mind- control alcohol’, Annie Grace states “You cannot be brave without fear” and “There is no bravery in using alcohol to rid yourself of fear”. When setting goals, it's in our fears and vulnerabilities where we can find the answer to our intentions. So for example, my fear of missing out and fear of social events, you could say that my intention here might be to be accepted, to be loved for who I am without alcohol courage, and ultimately my self-doubt around sobriety, well the positive intention here is that I want to find self love and self worth. So when I set the goal to quit drinking, I also looked at my intention around not drinking to support me on my journey, and overall my intentions are to be accepted and loved by myself and others. When we align our inner intentions with our goals, we have a deeper personal understanding about what it truly is we are seeking, it's about exploring our unconscious desires, beliefs and values, accepting our past, and understanding our unconscious self. To truly live with intentionality we need to have a deeper understanding of our unconscious values and beliefs that have been instilled in us since we were children. So finding our intentions and living with intentionality, does require us to understand our beliefs, perhaps even our limiting self beliefs, and accepting our needs and fears. By knowing our intentions we can set goals, and trust in the process that when our goals are aligned with our intentions we are on our way in our own journey to create the life we want and achieve the goals we set.



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